You know what I’m talking about, right?
I’ll try and explain.
I started my business in 1995, but I’ve only broken free from my self-imposed shackles in the past 5-7 years, really.
Before that, I was uncommunicative, uninvolved, bitter and insecure.
I hate labels, but sometimes I have to use them to convey a story.
Can you relate?
Less than two years after my first son was born, my wife persuaded me to open my own business.
We had no money, but she had faith and I had determination.
Nothing in the world motivates you like a toddler in the house, a new business and a client list of zero.
And no job to fall back on.
Yet, no matter how much I progressed and how many clients I acquired, IT didn’t feel quite right and never has.
Know what I mean?
People often say you never change. I’ve heard them say this myself. Please save that load of crap for the hay wagon, because that’s what it is.
People do change. All. The. Time.
And that’s the beauty of it all, really.
Since 1995 I’ve been making a slow and steady climb, but it’s not until fairly recently that I finally got IT.
I always thought that hard work and determination were the keys to success. Work, then relax. Extended periods of drudgery followed by shorts burst of enjoyment.
We were taught this in school, by our parents. At least I was, but this certainly isn’t the key to an enriching life. I enjoy hard work but am no fan of a passionless struggle.
So I guess my question to you is how do you make your life enriching? How do you create an environment that is conducive to work and enjoyment at the same time? Is this possible?
In my youth I lived in a constant state of unease and only found solace on my own deserted island. A disconnected, lonely place where I perfected the art of dreaming on a daily basis.
This followed me into adulthood, where the dreams disappeared, but the isolation and unease remained.
I only started to make some real changes around the age of 40. For me, the keys were embracing discomfort, learning to deal with uncertainty and taming my active lizard brain. Getting out of my head was key, as I could no longer live with the torturous chatter.
And right now? I’m not slowing down. In fact I’m more excited about life than every before.
I guess I’ve kinda, sorta found my IT.
Enriching experiences come from taking on discomfort.
Breaking free of those self-imposed chains can be the most liberating feeling on earth.
And discovering that creativity that resides deep inside you can be like an exploding fireball of passion that renews your zest for life.
How about you?
Why do you do IT every day? And how does it make you feel?
Are you making up for lost time or have you been in this most excellent state for a while?
That tormenting mental noise? I kicked it to the curb. Have you?
Right now, I’m feeling IT big time. How about you?
If not, think long and hard about your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. It can be deafening and potentially life-destroying.
Do you feel like you’ve arrived?
If not, what do you think is holding you back?
And, why do you do “it” every day?
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig,
I am burning…up….and…going…crazy. That is because I have a pretty damn good idea of what I need to do and I am not quite getting it done.
I am making progress, there is definite motion but it is too slow and I am impatient. That being said I am doing my best each day to silence the inner critic and when needed to smack him in the mouth.
Progress is progress and the only one who can truly stop me is me. It is that simple, all that I need to do is execute.
This blog stuff is all part of the plan.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..The Weekly Review- What You Missed
Hi Jack,
I have to silence the inner-critic about every hour of every day
Smack him hard, I do.
Hope you’re enjoying some sunshine. We’ve had almost a week of the stuff and we are all wondering how long the fun will last.
This is a very difficult question to answer, Craig. I enjoy my life now, studying, blogging, watching movies or whatever. Life is good. But, I do want to do more. I do want to achieve what I want to achieve. I also want to achieve it in the way I want to achieve.
I don’t think anything is holding me back, right now. I think I am progressing towards my dream, slowly. Every now and then, I do feel impatient (I am glad that I do, because impatience itself motivates me to do more with my blog and my entire plan).
But, I know. Someday I will achieve my goal. I can see it. It may not be due to hard work (I prefer it to be out of passion).
But, I still can see it.
Jeevanjacobjohn recently posted..List Building Experiment: Welcome Email and Autoresponders
Hi Jeevan,
It sure looks like you are doing plenty to reach an end goal. I enjoy studying and blogging too
but used to spend way to much time dreaming and not doing, and maybe watching a bit too much TV. Maybe it was just laziness.
There’s so much potential with social media and blogging that it’s easy to get impatient. I have to check myself weekly and refocus on goals and the little steps I need to take to get there.
If you can see it, stay focused and put in the work, oh and have some fun times along the way. I’d say you’re onto something.
Thanks for popping in.
Great post, I can definitely relate. That little voice in the back of my head (intuition?) always warns me before I take on something that’s not going to make me happy, but for years I ignored it. Once I resolved to stop doing that and do what was really “me,” I finally feel like I’ve arrived. And I’m going to keep going too!
Hi Lynne,
You know what? I ignored that voice for years too. Took a while
I feel the exact way you do. Just being the real you does make all the difference. So glad you feel like you’ve arrived.
Thank you for stopping by!
I need to ignore that voice as well @craig & Lynne because it is really holding me back in so many ways. I have been thinking of ways to avoid being under that bondage. Also, I’ve always been a power dreamer, planner and thinker, but most of them, few moments after pondering over them, I quitted. Need to get over this as well. THANK you for wonderful pulling post. It really helps.
Olawale Daniel recently posted..Why Bloggers Need to Be in Good Health in Order to Make Money and 12 Tips for a Blogger to Stay Fit
Hi Olawale,
Limiting beliefs and negative self-talk hindered my progress for so many years. Now I want to motivate a few people to silence that inner-critic.
Being a power dreamer, planner and thinker is great, but it’s all reduced to laying out a realistic plan and taking those small steps, one day at a time.
You are welcome! Thanks for coming by, I really appreciate it.
Yes, I agree. You are right, what I need to do is to start with one step at a time. I will do as you say. Thanks for your response
Olawale Daniel recently posted..LeapPad or VTech: Can technology improve a child’s reading? – Is there anything out there that can help?
It’s worked for me
Craig, maybe I shouldn’t be writing this right now. Helluva day at the day job. You know, I love IT, that IT that I do but some days I have to shake my fist at it. Seems like a mini dip……
Anyway, the more you publish your thoughts the more I find an echo to my own youth and experiences. I broke outta my “shell” in my early 40′s and I largely have my wife to thank for that (and myself for recognizing the need).
Hard to define the IT but you know what? I have it and bad. I can feel it in every bone in my body (or was that the workout I did yesterday?). Ha!
Have I arrived? Well. No. I consider the journey the IT and I am on IT. Having a big audacious goal is IT for me. Mastery is like an asymptote. You will forever practice and the practice is where the magic happens…….grasshopper……;-)
Ralph recently posted..How do a lion, its pride and the need for validation influence our success?
Hi Ralph,
Hey man, I certainly understand what you’re describing. Plenty of fist shaking days in this neck of the woods. Nothing wrong with that as long as you let it roll off.
Using the word “arrived” is great for getting the conversation started, but like you I consider the journey IT. The work, the excitement of seeing things through. All of it.
I’d like to make “asymptote” the word of the day here. I was never a master of geometry, but I guess you have to be pretty good at the stuff to have any chance in the world of architecture, huh? Good thing I chose my path
Thank you for stopping in. And … at least you and I did make it out, right?
Not only did we make it out we shot out and are rocketing away. I know that you, like me, have the gas it’ll take to get wherever you need to go.
Mine comes from those bean burritos that I so love (yeah, can’t be serious for more than a sec and fart jokes MUST always make it into my discourse).
Keep up the brilliance, my friend.
Ralph recently posted..What can we learn about managing stress from a cheesy Hollywood comedy?
Nothing wrong with fart jokes. We don’t want the place to get too boring
Rock on!
Hi Craig,
Lovely to find you via a recommendation from Jen Gresham and enjoyed watching your video:)
I’m doing all kinds of thing that I love but I’ll probably never feel like I’ve arrived. We tend to change the goal posts and want more all the time don’t we?!
Which is good as it keeps us striving for more:)
Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot recently posted..Scared Senseless: a Boat Trip to the Osa Peninsula, Costa Rica (Video Post)
Hi Annabel,
Thanks so much for stopping in and so glad Jen recommended this little place to you.
You are correct, and like Ralph mentioned, IT is more about the journey. We certainly do change the goal posts as we go. Like Steven Pressfield says, “there is no finish line.”
I like striving for more. It keeps the old noggin in shape and makes life interesting … as long as you’re doing the right kind of striving.
Thanks again for popping in.
Thanks for acknowledging my comments…..I thought you wrote “Thanks for pooping in”…..it made me smile thinking about it anyway. Yo, Annabel. You found a great place to hang out.
Ralph recently posted..What can we learn about managing stress from a cheesy Hollywood comedy?
You have a one-track mind, Sir
First bean burritos, then this?
I don’t think it’s possible to ever feel you’ve totally arrived. I’m a work in progress, that’s for sure! Though, I am definitely loving life and chasing my “IT” right now. I’m loving being a business owner and the challenges and benefits that go along with it.
I can totally understand the self-doubt. I battled that as I worked to break free of my day job. I didn’t realize how much some of my work environments had such a negative effect on my confidence. Being on my own has helped me rediscover that I am good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!
Glad you’ve found your “IT”, Craig. I hope you never lose it!
Laura Click recently posted..Three Important Business Lessons I Learned from my Mom
Hi Laura,
I feel the same way. You never, really truly do “arrive.” It’s more about the feeling as you go. If you’re loving the process and the challenges and benefits that go with it all, well …
Glad you finally broke free of the day job and are truly making IT work on your own.
And okay, Stuart … Thanks for the daily affirmation
Actually, I needed that.
Keep on after “IT” and thanks for stopping in!
Craig what a wonderful space to be in…more power to ya !
As for me, I suppose I spend about 80% of my time in that “it” zone… but that ugly little lizzard rears its head just to nudge me every now and again, and grease the ladder so I slip a few rungs.
I agree hard work and determination are part of the game but you can’t white knuckle your way to success, and it’s sooo much more enjoyable when you find that state of ease and flow. *putting on my wooo wooo hat*
Onwards and upwards to you good Sir, I look forward to following your journey!
Jackie recently posted..Is Blogging Sucking The Life Out Of You?
Hello Jackie,
I love your language here, and we all certainly slip a few rungs on that greasy ladder
Ease and flow. I rather like that. That is more of what I’m talking about in this post. You’ve found something that many would call work, but you just enjoy the heck out of it.
Onwards and upwards to you, friend from down under
Turning the pages, writing my story: literally and figuratively. Cheers! Kaarina
Kaarina Dillabough recently posted..What a difference a week makes
What a difference a week makes, huh? You are a writer.
I am:)
Kaarina Dillabough recently posted..What a difference a week makes
I know that whenever I get to that point that the feeling “I’ve arrived” is on the horizon I up my game and push towards new heights! So, in short I never reach that point but my IT is definitely that desire to push onwards and upwards!
For me, that feeling is usually felt in hindsight and I wonder why I never cherished the moment – like the days we were SO bored lounging on the beach at a swanky beach club for days waiting for projects to be completed so we could pick up the cheque … I want to slap my then self for being BORED.
I’d beg for a beach these days … instead I juggle 2 businesses, clients and a toddler … even if I had a beach nearby I don’t think the little one would let me enjoy a book somehow.
Ameena Falchetto recently posted..Marketing for Healers
Hi Ameena,
The pro’s train never stops, right? I have that same desire.
I wouldn’t mind a beach myself these days and I can relate, except our toddlers are now 12 and 18 respectively
And you know what? They are still pretty demanding.
Anyway, it certainly looks like you’re moving onwards and upwards, esp. with the new case study.
Thanks for popping in!
Another powerhouse here, Craig! Loved it!
I think I have arrived… and by “arrived”, I mean, finally being able to actually see my dream come to fruition and doing what I love to do.
For me, I’ve managed for years to tell myself all the reasons I couldn’t become a writer. And let me tell you, my friend, I had a very long list of foolishness holding me back – and believed every last bit of it.
The fact that I get up and put in 12, at times 16 hours, to just write – is HUGE for me. I’ve never been so focused in my entire life. Nor have I wanted something so badly, I can see it, before it actually shows up.
You’re right about a few things in this post, Craig, but the one thing I can definitely relate to is the effectiveness of changing our self-limiting and negative self-talk. As I have become a lot more mindful of what I say about myself and my dreams, I have begun seeing a tremendous improvement in what I get done. I’ve even begun noticing the difference in my work, as well.
Always a pleasure reading what you’ve cooked up for us, bud. Thanks for the inspiration!
Deeone,
Thank you, Sir. It always means a lot coming from you.
Well, that is the definition of “arrived” here. Just being in THAT state. A state of onward and upward motion.
I’ve never been so focused either, but just to hear you are using the title, “writer” and are doing the work to see it all come to fruition is so great to hear. You will make it all happen, I feel confident about that, as the drive, talent and determination are all there. It’ll be great to see you grow as a writer and speaker.
Glad you are putting that negative self talk in the can where it belongs
Great to have you here. I get inspired reading your comments.
Thanks!
Hey Craig!
Like many who have responded, I feel like “there” keeps changing for me. Part of it (I guess the basics) stay the same. I want to stay home to raise my son, make a living online and spend less hours working than playing. I just think the “how am I getting there” part is what keeps changing for me. This is certainly not a bad thing. We grow, change and learn. I’m still on the same basic path that I was but other opportunities have come my way. I think regardless, the most important part is to keep taking action towards that end goal. I have switched gears as to how I’m getting “there” but I’m still taking action steps to get closer:)
Alicia Jay recently posted..Never Give Up
Hi Alicia,
Life’s constant state of flux will keep us on our toes, huh?
The “how am I getting there” part is constantly changing for me as well. Tweaking and refining weekly is a common practice. The fluidity of life and what it throws at you can certainly get in the way and present amazing opportunities as well. You never know what’s coming, really.
As long as you maintain focus and don’t lose site of what you want to accomplish, they are all but bumps in the road, right?
Just keep taking those little steps, one day at a time.
Thanks for stoping by.
To me, it’s mostly about learning. That’s the reason I want to keep writing and want to keep being social. I love connecting with people, and I love writing and it helps me understand who I am and where I’m going to be. Learning from my environment, and the people connecting with me, that’s the part I really love.
And, of course, I love helping. And that’s why I’ve started my own business. I want to make people happy, on a personal level and on a business level. It’s going to be hard, but that’s my main goal, and that’s what I’m working hard at accomplishing
Jens P. Berget recently posted..How to Get a Yes Every Single Time
Hi Jens,
Blogging and social is an accelerated learning environment. Certainly a good way to keep your brain sharp and keep those creative juices flowing.
It’s obvious you love connecting with people and you’re doing a great job in the helping department at your place, and I’m sure in your personal life too.
The best thing about social is getting to know people from around the world. You and I can compare notes as we go. Hard work no doubt, but a really enjoyable process.