Why are you holding yourself back?
Really. If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you would like to make a small dent in this world of ours. I also have a hunch you think you could improve in some way.
My father always said, “When You Assume, You Make an Ass of U and Me.” Well, call me an ass if you want (I’ve been called worse), but there are some untruths that might be torpedoing your efforts. And there is one vile untruth that you need to stop telling yourself right about now.
Think about how often you’ve said, “I can’t.”
And this statement translates to the crap we tell ourselves over and over and over. “It’s too hard.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not a people person.” “I suck at writing.” “I’m not creative.”
False beliefs carved into our brains and taken as gospel.
Layers of almost undetectable little fibs, internalized, but camouflaged by years of conditioning. Bogus and distorted stories that hold us back from our true potential. And they usually translate to: “I can’t.”
Beliefs that keep you from making that one big change because years ago someone told you it was stupid or you weren’t capable.
You held on to that and 10,000 other layers of bullshit. Assumptions that are toxic and stifling.
Terminate the self-limiting “I can’t” and change it to “I can.” And stop assuming that certain “super-smart” people know something “super-special” that you’re not privy to. Or that others are just better than you. Or more creative. Stop!
For much of my life I’ve felt like I was on the outside looking in. A refugee without a clue and a stranger who could never corral these magical skills. I believed there was some inside track I was missing out on and I would never catch up.
But guess what? This mindset is pretty damn common, it just took me a while to realize this and it’s compounded by repeating, “I can’t.” So that phrase just needs to go away.
We’ve all heard stories of successful people who are deeply insecure. No matter how confident they appear, they kinda make it up as they go. And like us, they sometimes feel as if they’re on the outermost layer, but they believed in themselves enough to push through that whopper of a self-limiting statement.
If you want to flourish, dial down the fear and the belief that others are so “in the know” and they can while you can’t. Simply rip into the work, and be okay with not knowing everything.
And part of letting go of “I can’t” means embracing discomfort. But guess what? Discomfort doesn’t suck.
Well being stuck on the tarmac for seven hours straight really, truly sucks (JetBlue anyone?). I’m not talking about that kind of discomfort though. It’s more about this pernicious belief that comfort is the goal of modern life. Granted, this is a First World issue, but a little blood, sweat and tears does bring a bit more meaning to life.
Fighting dispassion is a daily struggle, but don’t let passivity rule your life. You know a quick ticket to nowhere? Letting comfort seep in and dominate, which is really easy to do with the “I can’t” excuse.
So, embrace discomfort now, ’cause comfort does hinder greatness. Start today.
The more you let “I can’t” rule, the less risks you take, the less creative you are, and the more insular your little world becomes. And you then have layers of barriers between you and those great accomplishments on the other end.
Self-limiting statements. Lies. Assumptions based on “I can’t.” They’re insidious, vile and unruly creatures and it’s time to call the exterminator, because they will suck the life right out of you.
Don’t let them erode your greatness.
Ditch the self-limiting statements. Jump in and stop playing outsider. And do something today to give discomfort a big, fat, nasty old kick in the chops. Figure out what matters.
Stop holding yourself back. You can.
Hit me up with some wisdom or let me know what you think in the comments below.